5 secrets to a long-lasting marriage

Just like the saying goes,  “Marriage is like a bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.” Many married couples can admit to feeling this way, especially when times get rough and the honeymoon period is well and truly over. So, how do they get through these times?  Married for 28 years and counting, Pastor’s and marriage counselors Colin and Maureen Francis shared some honest and insightful tips with listeners on how they can navigate and cultivate a long-lasting marriage.

1. Keep God at the center

You have probably heard this phrase more than you’ve had hot meals. Nevertheless, it’s an imperative piece of advice, according to Pastor’s and Marriage Counsellors Maureen and Colin Francis. Keeping God at the center practically means that you and your spouse should seek His direction and counsel through collective prayer and fasting. Your spouse might be all you need and more, but they can’t be your ‘everything’; they may fall short at times and disappoint you.

2. Be intentional

Value and respect goes a long way, and they will go even further in your marriage. Remember in the early days when you use to strive to please your spouse? Listen to them, show interest and value their opinion? Maintaining these things is key. Everyone wants to feel respected and valued and this should be reflected in your attitudes towards your other half. See them as God sees them and treat them and love them unconditionally with your words, as well as your actions.

When a man is respected especially by his wife; it gives him the confidence he needs to conquer the rest of the world.

3. Adapt

As you would have realised already, marriage is less about “me”, more about “we” and incorporates the big ‘C’ - Compromise. If both partners put the others needs first and happily compromise on both the little and big things, then everybody is happy. Merriam Webster online defines the word adapt as ‘to change your behaviour so that it is easier to live in a particular place or situation’. What does this mean to you? Does it mean joining your partner in a hobby they enjoy? Watching their favourite show with them? Or adapting to their habit of whistling or humming along to television adverts?

4. Never stop laughing

Having a sense of humor will take the ‘edge’ off of arguments, lighten awkward moments, relieve pent up emotions and as the Word says serve as medicine to the heart. There’s obviously a season, time and place for everything, but laughter and fun should be present throughout.

5. Forgive

Just as God has forgiven us, we must remember to forgive our spouses too. It can be hard when a loved one hurts us or disappoints us, because of our high expectations of them, we don’t expect it. However, in the same way you would like someone to forgive you and move on, that same grace needs to be shown to your spouse if they do you wrong.